God is faithful
The years have proven to me that God is faithful! My life has not been extraordinary, but in all the hours, days and years when I was not faithful, God remained the same—faithful. I’m a native of California and was raised in a fundamental Christian home believing in God, the Bible, and Christ’s work on the cross. I accepted Christ as my personal Savior when I was young.
As a teenager, through my college years, I came to enjoy the Lord in a full way in the local church and to enjoy the riches of God’s Word through the ministry of Witness Lee. I was very dedicated to the church life. I wanted to be given to the Lord fully. However, as different things happened to me over the years, inwardly my love for the Lord and my experience in the church life began to fade. This confused me. Eventually, I was so disappointed about my own faults and lack as a Christian I didn’t want to practice the Christian life anymore. I still very much believed in the practice of the church life and the ministry of Brother Lee, however, for my own reasons, I decided to stop being active as a Christian and left the church life.
Over a period of about 6 or 7 years I traveled, went to the movies, hung out, watched TV, and worked at having a career. I honestly had great times and had to have great friends. All of that time, no one knew I was a Christian. I never spoke of it. However, I knew God to be real. Inwardly the sadness and disappointment of a “failed” Christian life persisted.
Then the Lord began to move in my life. My father unexpectedly passed away due to stroke. Afterwards I began to think differently about being a Christian. I wanted to honor my father, who was a seeking Christian who loved the Lord, and to remember my roots as part of a Christian family. Just as there had been a gradual moving away from an active Christian life, the Lord arranged things to gradually lead me back to Him. I began to read through the Recovery Version of the New Testament each morning. I was touched by God to put Him first with my finances and I began to regularly tithe. During this time, I attended a denominational church near where I lived. Although the pastor was very good, over the 4 years I was there I missed the rich experience of Christ I had experienced through the ministry of Witness Lee and in the local church. I knew where I needed to be.
One Sunday morning I returned to the meetings of the church. It had been 11 years. During this meeting a hymn was called:
God’s Christ, who is my righteousness,
My beauty is, my glorious dress;
Midst flaming worlds, in this arrayed,
With joy shall I lift up my head. (Hymn 295)
Through the verses of this hymn, all the years of sadness melted away. What joy! To me, it was impossible that I would be back in the church life. By the Lord’s love and mercy, He became the love for Him within me. Now, everything in the Word, the hymns and the fellowship has twice the meaning as before. Praise Him for His faithfulness!