Oh God I Need Peace
As I hitchhiked home on that clear autumn afternoon, my heart ached inside. I was all alone on a winding country road having just left my high school dream for the last time.
Since my freshman year I had wanted to get to know her. Then at last, in our senior year, we shared the same chemistry class. We dated on and off throughout that year but on this clear autumn day, we said goodbye for the last time. As tears streamed down my face, I looked to the heavens and cried, “Oh God, I need peace.”
It was probably two or three months before God would eventually answer that cry. To allay the anguish in my heart, I turned to yoga and meditation. Each week, with new fervor, I attended classes from a Hindu neighbor. Although I experienced a measure of peace within, my deep longing was still not satisfied. I poured over the stacks of books recently purchased from an occult bookstore, seeking to find the truth and meaning of my life.
One morning, while hitchhiking to work, the answer came. I was picked up by a Christian. Her name was Sue. We began to have a conversation which eventually led to spiritual matters. She asked me if I had ever met Jesus and I told her that I was involved in yoga and meditation. When we arrived at work, she introduced me to a Christian brother. We quickly became friends and shared our lunch on many occasions. He often talked about Jesus and I discussed the Baghavad-Gita. Eventually, he invited me to dinner and asked me if I wanted to receive the Lord Jesus into my heart. I nodded and we both prayed. That was in October 1975.
The next ten months of my life were filled with joy and rejoicing. I had found what my heart was searching for all those years. It was the Lord Jesus Christ. A real, living, loving person. Now, for the first time, I knew why I was alive and what my life was all about. I surely found the God of peace.
In July of 1976, I received a book from a Christian brother in my hometown of Winsted, Connecticut. He owned a bookstore which I visited quite regularly. The book was entitled The Orthodoxy of the Church by Watchman Nee. I first read A Spiritual Sacrifice also by Watchman Nee when I was baptized eight months or so earlier so I was aware of the richness of his ministry. I remember, as I left the bookstore on that day, that something was different about this book that I had just received. This book was a spiritual exposition of the seven churches in the book of Revelation. And as I came to Watchman Nee’s explanation that the church in Philadelphia represented the church of brotherly love, the proper church-life, the recovered local church, something deep within me said, “If that is God’s choice and God’s heart, that is my choice and my heart.”
Shortly thereafter, I began to meet with the brother from the bookstore, his wife and son, and another dear couple in the Lord as the church in Torrington, Connecticut. Those were very glorious days indeed. That was almost twenty-three years ago. I have been meeting in the local churches, loving the Lord and growing in the Lord through the rich and enlightening ministry of both Witness Lee and Watchman Nee. What a wonderful mercy of the Lord!